


Grown a Little Colder

by Arsenic



Series: Dickens-verse [37]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Blizzards & Snowstorms, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Orphans, dickens-verse - Freeform, frostnip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-11
Updated: 2014-01-11
Packaged: 2018-01-08 09:59:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1131287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arsenic/pseuds/Arsenic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joanna's coming to visit for Christmas</p>
            </blockquote>





	Grown a Little Colder

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my beta, ihearttwojacks, all remaining mistakes are mine.
> 
> Written for gillianjar, who sponsored the "natural disaster" square of my hc_bingo for Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, and asked for Dickens. Granted, that was before the last blackout, so hopefully she's still down with this...

They moved into the house in early November. Bones said, "In time for the holidays," but they spent Thanksgiving at the tower with everyone else, because Bones didn't actually know how to cook. And Peeta made really, _really_ good pumpkin pie, and brandied pumpkin pie, and something called a Mexican pumpkin pie, and pumpkin rolls, and pumpkin cheesecake, and chocolate pumpkin torte, and pumpkin flan, and pretty much any baked product that could come from a pumpkin including some that Jamie suspected involved magic. Jamie knew he didn't have a lot to compare it with, but he couldn't imagine another meal ever being better.

On the way home, when Jamie was falling asleep in the car, Bones’s phone rang. It was Joanna's ringtone. Bones picked up with a, "Happy Thanksgiving, baby girl."

There was a pause and Bones grinned as he said, "Yes. Of course. I'd love that. You sure your mom—"

Another pause before Bones said, "All right, I'll stay out of it. Can't wait, honey."

He ended the call and said, "Jo's coming for Christmas."

It was kind of a miracle Jamie didn't puke all over the dashboard.

*

It turned out that one of Joanna's friends wanted to drive up to New York to see her sister for Christmas, but her parents wouldn't let her do it alone. Joanna was relatively new to the driving world, but her mom had agreed so long as she checked in regularly. Bones was supposed to get one of the seasonal holidays with her, but both of them had let her choose which one since she'd turned thirteen. Bones relayed all of this in a casual tone, like nothing had changed, nothing would change.

Nyota was preternaturally calm. 'Karu just kept staring out the window. When they got back to the house, Jamie corralled them into his room and said, "Maybe we could spend Christmas at the Tower. Bones would get some time with Joanna, Tony's got the room, everyone wins."

'Karu looked a little heartbroken, but also like he wasn't going to say anything. Jamie understood. He'd stupidly found himself wondering what it would be like, having a real Christmas. But they all knew that wasn't the way things worked for them. At the very least, this way, Jamie could probably charm Peeta into making the peanut butter cookies Nyota loved. He wasn't sure what he would do to cheer 'Karu up, just that he'd come up with something. 'Karu wasn't greedy.

Without even understanding how it happened, Jamie found himself asking, "Uh, what would you want? I mean, for Christmas?"

Nyota frowned. "What?"

Jamie shrugged. "Like a game, or something. If you could have one present, what would it be?"

'Karu asked, "Does it have to be something we can buy?"

Jamie thought. He knew all the things he'd wish for if he could have anything, though, and none of them were things he could give the others. "Let's say yes."

"You first," Nyota said, her eyes bright and hard. Jamie knew he wasn't going to win any arguments.

He considered all the things that might be cool and said, "A tree swing. Or maybe a visit to a place with roller coasters."

He'd never been on one, but he'd always wanted to know how it felt to fly, to fall only so far as wasn't dangerous. 'Karu nodded slowly and said, "A hanging plant, like an ivy or something, for my room."

They both looked at Nyota, who rolled her eyes, but gave in. "If you laugh, I swear I will punch you in the balls."

Jamie blinked. Nyota threatened people all the time, but never them, none of those who'd survived the cages. 'Karu said, "Cross our hearts, you know that."

Nyota shuffled her feet and crossed her arms over her chest. "A teddy bear. One as big as a pillow."

"That would be awesome," 'Karu agreed.

Jamie nodded. "I'd probably steal it."

Nyota scoffed. "I'd like to see you try."

*

Joanna was dropped off in the early hours two days after winter break had begun, and a day before Christmas Eve. Jamie and the others spied down from where the banister allowed visual access to the entry hall from the second floor. Bones had barely opened the door when he was pulling her in, wearing the kind of grin only rarely seen from him, and she was laughing, "Dad."

Their hug was tight, filled with visible affection. When she pulled back, Jamie noticed the color of her eyes, the lines of her jaw and nose. They were all Bones. She was compact and athletic looking, skin tan with the kiss of southern sun. Her voice had a thicker bent of Georgia than Bones' did these days, but the similarity was unmistakable. Quietly, Nyota said, "She's pretty."

It was a shorthand way of acknowledging that they were fucked. They'd heard all about Joanna's good grades. She was Bones' real kid and she smiled without having to be led into it. Jamie chewed his cheek and thought about strategy. "We stay through dinner tonight. We'll head to the Tower after Bones goes to bed."

Silently, the other two nodded. On the wings of the agreement, Bones called, "Jamie, Nyota, 'Karu! Jo's here."

Jamie pulled what confidence and comfort he had in this place, his right to be here, over himself and was the first to go down the stairs.

*

The other thing Joanna was, that none of them had considered, was super nice. Jamie couldn't even fault Bones for thinking she was better: she was hard to dislike, even if she was a real kid. She wanted 'Karu to show her the inside herb garden he'd started and tell her how he kept things alive.

She somehow—and Jamie wasn't sure he could reconstruct how she'd done it if he tried—managed to get Nyota to give up the information that she wanted to take Spanish as an elective next year. Joanna said, "I've got some old textbooks. I gave it up after sophomore year, since I sucked, but you're welcome to all my stuff. Hopefully it'll actually be of some use to you."

Given that, she was weirdly tentative with Jamie himself, but more than willing to share a smile, and she always looked particularly pleased when he laughed at one of her jokes. Jamie thought that if she'd been anyone else he would have tried to talk to her, maybe shared some candy from the vending machine—a hot ticket item at Jamie's school—or, if he got stupidly brave, asked her to a movie. But she was Bones' biological, actual daughter, which meant none of that was going to happen.

It was for the best, honestly, that they had plans to split in a few hours.

*

Jamie noted the snow when they crept out of the first-floor study window later that night, but figured they'd be okay. The bus stop was a little less than a mile out, and once they were in Manhattan proper, the subway route to get to the tower was pretty easy, with the tower only being about two city blocks away. They were all tougher than a little bit of cold weather. They put on the parkas, gloves and hats Bones had insisted upon at the first sign of bad weather. The boots and snowpants would slow them way down, so they stuck to jeans and sneakers.

Jamie was rethinking that decision about half-a-mile away from the house, when the wind picked up, the snow became a snow-ice mix, sharp and furious, and visibility became a thing of the past.

It was clear they weren't going to make it to the bus stop. Jamie wasn't even sure which way they were facing anymore. He latched on tightly to the others, and started walking in the direction he hoped would get them between houses. If nothing else, it would buffer them a little from the wind.

Once they had managed that much shelter, Jamie considered the situation. If they went between houses, they could make it a quarter of a mile back, but at that point they would have to cross a street. There weren't any other realistic options, however. They couldn't stay where they were, they weren't going to make it to the tower, and as much as he knew he should just knock on a nearby door and ask for shelter, call Bones from there, he couldn't make himself trust the hospitality of strangers.

He yelled the plan out to the others, hoping they would hear over the storm. Nyota yelled back, "Longer we wait, more fucked we are."

Jamie could not have said how long it took to get back. He fell twice, and the other two once apiece. He couldn't feel his nose or forehead, and every broken bone he'd ever had—too many to count, according to Bones—ached fiercely.

They got turned around in the street and it took a while to figure it out, get themselves re-oriented. By the time they stumbled into the door of the house, all Jamie could concentrate on was keeping hold of the others, making sure they were with him. He couldn't get his fingers free of where he was holding them, so he shoved his shoulder into the door several times until a frazzled looking Bones pulled it open and the three of them fell inside.

*

Jamie was too frozen to shy away when Joanna began helping her dad get the three of them fully inside and warmed up. There was already a fire going, probably a concession to the storm, and Bones carried 'Karu there while Joanna supported Nyota. Bones came back for Jamie, who managed a wrecked whisper, "Sorry. Sor—"

"I don't know what the hell was going on in your heads," Bones said, and his voice was shaking, "we'll get to that later. Whatever it was, if you _ever_ so much as consider leaving this house again at night without telling anyone or letting us know where you're going, Jamie, I swear to all that is holy I will implant a tracking mechanism in you and _still_ make you stay in my sights 24/7. Are we clear?"

Jamie was still getting used to the part where scaring or upsetting or inconveniencing Bones didn't end with gashes that needed stitches or days without food or something else actually scary. He did his best to nod his head. "Sorry."

"I know," Bones said softly. "I know. I should have—should've seen. I'm sorry, too." 

He set Jamie down in front of the fire and started carefully pulling off layers of clothing. Jamie frowned at his assertion, trying to understand why Bones thought any of this was his fault. He was too tired to ask, though, too tired to listen and explain and try to comprehend. When Jamie was stripped bare Bones wrapped him in a heavy cotton throw. He was slowly beginning to regain feeling, shaking so hard it hurt, but at least the hurt was a sensation. 

Bones carefully checked at his hands and feet, finding frostnip signs on his toes and ordering Joanna to draw a hot bath. She said, "Yeah, um, pretty sure Nyota's got second degree," and went to turn on the water. 

Jamie glanced over to see Nyota in a blanket, same as him, and Bones who was now working on 'Karu. Joanna came from the kitchen with three mugs in her hands, which she set carefully at their sides. She said quietly, "You can take it to the tub with you." 

Jamie glanced at it, expecting tea, but the rich cinnamon color of it spoke of the apple cider Nyota had fallen in love with earlier that fall.

Bones was picking 'Karu up to take him to the bathroom, saying, "I'm coming back for you two in a second."

Jamie's hands steadied enough while waiting to get the mug to his lips. He took a cautious sip. The drink burned all the way down. Jamie wondered if it said something about him that the pain felt very similar to safety.

*

Jamie woke up in a bed that was not his own, surrounded by the heat of other bodies, and went limp with panic and instinct for a moment before he realized he was wrapped around Nyota. The sturdy presence at his back was Bones. 'Karu's fingers brushed against Jamie's from the other side of Nyota.

He closed his eyes again, but after several moments acknowledged that his brain was too active for sleep to come again. He slipped from in between Nyota and Bones and out of the room. Nyota was exhausted and Bones slept like the dead, so he got away with it without waking either of them. He went to the kitchen, feeling thirsty, and found Joanna sitting at the kitchen table. He was about to leave when she looked up and asked, "Am I that bad?"

The question was meant as a joke, Jamie could tell. Only it fell flat. Joanna's eyes were puffy and her smile had a canned look about it. Jamie saw where her hands were clutched desperately around a cup of coffee. He kind of wished he had stayed in bed. He shook his head. "Pretty much the opposite. You're that good."

Joanna's eyes flashed a million emotions at once. It was strange. Jamie had gotten used to the guarded natures of the others, forgotten what it was like to converse with a person who hadn't learned those skills yet. She settled on a combination of hurt and tired. "Maybe you oughtta get yourself something to drink."

Jamie filled a glass of water and joined her at the table. She smiled, but it was wobbly. "Dad, you know, he left when I was ten. Mom and him, they both tried so hard to tell me it wasn't about me, but I kept thinking if I'd just behaved a little better or been a little quieter, maybe it would have worked, and he would have stayed."

She laughs a wet little chuckle. "Guess that's what every divorce kid thinks. But I—I mean I started to get used to it. He's good about calling and sending cards and seeing me when he can. And then," Joanna bites her lip. When she lets it go to speak again, she's crying. "And then he had these new kids who were brave and strong and who he'd _chosen_ to take home with him and I…I don't even know if he really wants me here."

It wasn't that Jamie didn't see the irony in the situation, only that he wasn't certain how to explain it. He needed to start small, for both of their sakes. "Um. He talks about us?"

This time, her laugh is more choking than mirth. "If I didn't know better, I'd be convinced you guys poop rainbows and cupcakes."

Jamie filed that away for later consideration. "We were all pretty sure you were made of solid gold coated in expensive chocolate."

Joanna blinked at that. Jamie shrugged. "You're his _real_ kid, Joanna. We're some kids that got put in his hospital and he felt too bad for us to leave us there. Sooner or later, it's gonna wear off. We just figured if we gave you guys some time, you know, together, alone, it'd put that off a bit."

After a long moment where Joanna stared at him with only faintly veiled incomprehension, she said, "Jamie, Dad would _end_ anyone who tried to take you away. Or die trying. I know he hasn't been around much for the past six years, but he's still my dad. I still know him."

Jamie fought back a sigh and the explanation welling up that sometimes—usually—real kids didn't have the context for this sort of thing. He wanted to believe her, almost badly enough to do something stupid like throw away years and years of lessons about how easy it was to get rid of him. Instead he said, "Then just imagine what he'd do for you."

Her face was so full of hope Jamie wanted to look away. He forced himself not to. She said, "I was kind of hoping we'd be friends, at least. I don't have sisters or brothers. I know I'm not one of you, but—"

"Friends would be good," Jamie said, and for the first time in a while the smile on his face felt real. "Yeah. That would be good."

*

Christmas eve got somewhat canceled, with Bones dosing all of them with hot fluids and vitamins, trying to ward off any sickness that might have taken hold in the chill. He apologized about eight times. Jamie agreed with Nyota when she said, "It's not like we've got history to base it on. Maybe this is a great Christmas eve."

'Karu and Jamie both apologized to Joanna, because she probably _did_ have history, but she just shrugged. "There's a whole 'nother day for Christmas. And I guilted dad into letting me watch as many Christmas movies as my heart desires."

Jamie said, "Like what?"

"I was thinking I'd start with 'A Charlie Brown Christmas.' Thoughts?"

Jamie said, "Uh, the only one I think I've seen was 'Miracle on 34th Street,' and it's been so long, I don't really remember what happened."

Joanna looked at the other two. Nyota said, "I got nothing."

'Karu said, "I like Snoopy."

And so it was that they spent Christmas eve drinking hot beverages and mainlining classic Christmas movies.

*

Christmas Day began late, largely because they were all too exhausted to get up at dawn and do anything. They'd admitted defeat sometime around one, but Jamie and the others were still worn from their tromp in the storm, and Joanna just plain liked sleeping in. Somewhere around noon they sleepily converged on the kitchen, while Bones scrambled eggs with pepperjack cheese, and Jamie rustled up some salsa and tortillas. When they'd finished brunching, large mugs of tea were taken into the family room. Bones had insisted there be a tree.

Jamie wouldn't have minded something small, or even plastic. Really, he just liked the idea that Bones wanted to have a tree for them. This tree, however, towered over all of them, spreading the smell of pine and winter throughout the house. There weren't a lot of decorations on it. There was an angel that had evidently been Bones' grandmother's at the top, and some gold and white ribbon that Elizabeth had brought over and helped them drape around the tree. But mostly it was just green and fresh and bright.

There were piles of presents beneath it, one for everyone in the room. Jamie blinked. Those hadn't been there last time he'd checked. He felt sick to his stomach. "We didn't get anyone anything."

Bones looked at Joanna. "When was the last time I had Christmas, kid?"

"Uh…last time I came?"

He nodded. "And when was that?"

"We usually do New Years," she said slowly. "Five years ago, I think?"

"Five years ago," he agreed. He looked Jamie in the eye before doing the same to 'Karu and Nyota. "You got me plenty, okay?"

The three of them shared a look, but in the end all they could do was let it lie. Joanna was already handing out presents—evidently there was a system by which they all had to open at the same time. Bones had gotten them each fuzzy grey slippers that were heaven to push their feet into. Jamie got a soft pretzel maker. He wouldn't have even thought such a thing existed, but he did _really_ love soft pretzels, had ever since Bones had bought him one from the stand near the hospital when they were still not allowed to leave.

He also got a set of lights that looked like different-colored gummy bears. They were fun, but they also made Jamie suspect Bones knew he still had a hard time with the dark. 'Karu got a kit to help him make his own herbal-scented soaps, and a wristwatch he could write messages to himself on. Usually, he just used his hand.

Nyota received a scratch map of the world, so she could make sure she got to go everywhere she wanted, and a Flavors of America salt collection. Spices and diverse tastes were a new thing for all of them, but Nyota liked to explore. Bones gave Joanna an eggplant-colored infinity scarf, a scrapbook for concert tickets, and a backpack up-cycled from old bike tires. The last was pretty cool. If Jamie'd had it in him to be jealous of her for any reason beyond her biological descent, he totally would have managed over that.

All four of them got $50 Visa gift cards, just in case, according to Bones, he'd missed something important. And Joanna's card promised all three of them a raincheck for when she knew them better and could come up with something interesting for them.

That last brought Jamie up short, because it was such tangible proof she expected them to stay. It was maybe even a sign she wanted that. Jamie grabbed a piece of discarded wrapping paper and wrote, "I.O.U.2., Jamie," then handed it over to her. He had to look away from the perfect sunny-ness of her responding grin.

*

Later in the day they were able to venture out. Jamie, Nyota, and 'Karu had their first adventure in the snow pants Bones had been so insistent about. Jamie could see why, now. They were _awesome_. Joanna shared her serious igloo making skills, and there was the requisite snowball fight and a few angels before all of them gave in and admitted they were about to lose fingers.

Bones ushered them inside, making them leave their outerwear in the laundry room. Joanna went into his bathroom to warm up in a shower, while Jamie, Nyota, and 'Karu took turns in the two upstairs. They huddled into their cuddliest pajamas or sweats and converged on the kitchen to find Bones had ordered plentiful amounts of Chinese from the place a few blocks over and braved the streets to go pick it up, since delivery was still off the table.

They spent the early evening making peanut butter and oatmeal cookies before falling into a nap. It was dark when Jamie woke, and things were still quiet. He went into the kitchen to grab another cookie—Bones was very insistent on them eating when they were hungry—and found Bones and Joanna there, talking softly.

He backed out as soon as he saw them, but Joanna said, "You're not interrupting."

He kind of was, he knew, but the invitation was too much for him to turn down. She said, "My friend called. We're probably not going anywhere for another few days. Her car isn't meant to handle in this weather."

Her voice was light, tone even, but Jamie knew a test when he heard one. He smiled. "That gives you some time to teach us more of your igloo wisdom, then."

She laughed a little, brightening. "You'll never pry my secrets from me."

Jamie liked the sound of that. Never was a long, long time.


End file.
